when I come back 
from being dead
then once again
I'll lay myself down
upon another funeral pyre
then I'll light myself
once again on fire
forsaking bitter dreams
I once unforgivably dreamt
then another bold revelation
taking hold of me
sometime after revelated death
making me finally see
what must be true
that light I see
what must be real
those things I know
that must be me
maybe time will tell
what must truly be
prophetic dreams I've dreamt
where I'm finally free
that ascetic mortal place
I've somehow morally found
where it's forgivably me
space so utterly profound
that I finally see
where forgiveness truly lives
what life actually gives
what true light contrives
what death truly is
where enlightenment convincingly thrives
that place where love
no doubt decidedly arrives
if only we could
find love like that
while we are here
being truly human still
we should be loving
as we are here
and still alive

           * * * 

 

when I
open this
my big
salacious mouth
I am
spiritually afraid
some terrible
demon words
will appear
desperately out 
of nowhere
rival curses
like venom
archival poison
from within
my viper's
secret lair
cursed execution
so I
tell myself
my insistent
big mouth
torrid elocution
no restitution
this one
as sordid
never rules
every other
so keep
my fool
invasive mouth
sewn shut
I find 
I can't
help me
help repel
always self
maliciously slithering
some demon
escaping deliciously
between my
two lips
obscenely shouting
right out
of my
unholy mouth
some truth
should always
forever speak
blessed things
love should
somehow always
be that
relative something
reflectively perfect
what we
truly seek
beyond virtual
perfect mystique
what we
truly speak
reaching ritual
spiritual something
we should
actually always
exactly preach

        * * * 

 

my hot head
full of smoke
much other blur
something crazy rings
between two ears
such amazing scenes
eras of years
rime built up
piled up snow
beyond shattered ice
frozen over centuries
melted in seconds
by erupting flames
ejected from open
demented horrid vents
red hot lava
my molten memories
so long forgotten
but newly found
so much poison
this earthly excrement
before never came
life is renewed
rimmed with clever
inflective black holes
reject grim politics
that similar nature
simmering fiery goals
reflecting dim conflicts
my hot head 
contesting token roles
my hot head
ingesting broken soul

            * * * 

 

how often
this inner
creative vision
insists dreams
rebuild conviction
connectivity cementing
broken shards
shattered glass
reflection commenting
ceramic words
human mosaics
flint limbs
quartz eyes
refined copper
into molten
defining words
directing lava
into vast
deep crevasses
a forceful
lasting age
everyone tinted
corroded green
resentment pages
explosive mouths
every one
imploding north
exploding south
recourse dreams
those temptations
minted original
co-existent love
out pouring
resistant co-dependence
realistic turnabout
augmenting archaic
molten steel
magic occurring
profound zeal
every compromise
coping inspiration
scoping both
true south
unruly north
speaking sage
fueling means
refusing hate
tempered resistance
resisting fate
what good
is love
when rage
consumes us
what good
is love
when storms
surround us
when assumption
confounds us
how often
could vision
restore sight
how often
can love
repair things
what was
always wrong
can love
create things
make them
instrumentally strong
smelting love
that inner
inventive vision
pressing love
into heartfelt
soulful intrusion
convincing love
infusing dreams
both me
as well
as you
confessing guilt
what we
truly felt
what we
exactly knew
can come
divinely true

      * * * 

 

I try
not too
easily hate
difficult goodbyes
my mother
says that
I say
that too
no matter 
how hard
we try
it seems
difficult goodbyes
leaving everything
things unsaid
nothing simple
those things
difficult words
we dread
my tongue
dried meat
my mouth
parched desert
my mind
jumbled emotion
my eyes
running tears
my heart
bleeding dear
my ears
hearing words
I hate
to hear
goodbye son
more tears
goodbye mum
words hurt
goodbye love
touching fear
all those
hidden tigers
tearing us
to pieces
all those
sharpened swords
carving us
to bits
if only
we didn't
have to
ever say
those goodbyes
wouldn't it
always be
a perfect
joyous day
blue sky
that wouldn't
could not 
never ever
sadly die
making us
fall down
my love
to cry
and cry

   * * * 

 

someone asked
are you
really happy
my blistered
abstract feelings
what is
true happiness
I'm wandering
seeking truth
I'm wondering
abruptly floundering
even drowning
what becomes
of us
lost souls
wrapped here
in life's
troubled gap
what happiness
can there
ever be
what about
token lying
should we
continue crying
all this
broken trying
not so
very subtle
finally dying
I have
somehow done
maybe somewhere
love will
maybe sometime
true love
will somehow
find me
wretched time
will reveal
some honest
better truth
make me
clearly see
happiness is
something real
maybe time
will stop
getting real
let me
find something
my wretched
broken self
buried deep
beneath love
embrace me
before hell
suddenly turns
burning day
to that 
yearning night
where sadness
truly lives
absolving gladness
wretched me
abject hell
where happiness
can never
ever be
something good
because tragically
something true
this deep
drowning sadness
has somehow
taken us
to that
tragic place
where honestly
I've fallen
out of grace
such hopelessness
depressing space
watching you
little sister
suddenly snatched
completely away
gripping death
so happiness
just wouldn't
could never
ever stay

      * * * 

 

I surfaced
after diving
religiously deep
my prayers
unanswered tomes
some thing
we need
those indigenous
relative poems
choose salmon
schooling towards
troubled streams
currents bruised
ocean Orcas
their untold
magnificent brilliance
two tones
pure white
exotic dreams
midnight black
motion resilience
outstanding tack
emotional zones
commanding truly
cetaceous singing
reminding us
life is
bindingly important
natural things
spawning salmon
nature is
mindful religion
preaching Orcas
sacred nature
practical pillars
oceans feeding
critical forest
breaching unnatural
boastful human
egotistical dreams
nature pleading
ocean choruses
beseeching God
entreating conditional
religious prayers
supernaturally praising
sensational magic
creative layers
environmentally tragic
we are
radioactive players
reactive surfacing
actively drowning
beneath us
torn fabric
above us
mental sounding
elemental salmon
suffering Orcas
human fracas
crude grounding
detrimental daze
lewd mammon
religious craze
true famine
modern world
extinction phase

        * * *