I found myself
still unconscious
when I woke
still unaware
I couldn't
help myself
but wonder
just where
I was
if this wasn't
chastened hell
I simply thought
for a moment
this was factually
some actual void
I actually tried
to simply stand
but all those
simple words
just trying
to amply lift me
somehow up
those simple words
falling beside myself
failing my soul
that holy ghost
just laying outside
of simple me
holy water dripped
from my soul
into every wound
passionately baptising
every suffering scar
compassionately chastising
gruff angry me
I'm anchored there
no heavy chains
around my enlightened
contrite self
no steely locks
no jail cell
simply my own
relative pain
no incarceration hell
yet laying there
relational despair
still playing fateful
flailing faithful me
I tried to think
this wasn't manic
I tried
staying calm
not hearing
no graven music
I was trying
not to panic
reverend Raven
descended crying
talking to myself
reverential haven
converting my soul
listening on
still bristling
yet unattached
I promised myself
I'd finally let
all living sins
to somehow be
washed away
no more remorse
no panicked fray
something prickly
evidently begins
as holy water
washes away 
all my sins
lifts me up
conjoins my soul
rejoins to this
simply blessed way

           * * * 

 

small birds
flitting around
branch to branch
that big old birch
branch to ground
how would it be
what would we
forever see
no birds
barren branches
no trees
small words
no leaves
truly befitting
less trunk
fewer roots
no bird nests
less treasure
more autumn
fewer colours
what about those
flitting birds
what about that
towering tree
if I could
change this world
pull up roots
I'd grow feathers
flit from branch
to leafy branch
I'd save this world
make it something
a better place
a singing garden
with birds and trees
bringing joyful solace
to this earthly space

          * * * 

 

my broken life
or so it seems
with all this pain
all this strife
that razor's edge
my bloody knife
cutting out my heart
carving at my life
what if
I just gave up
relinquish my soul
fully extinguish
my earthly role
finally bury those
most difficult parts
deep beneath
this broken ground
find some solace 
deep within
my aching heart
so what have I
ever truly found
each time
I find myself
half awake
confessing crimes
those terrible things
consciousness did
not ever make
so all in all
my broken life
lies quietly
beside me
defiantly alongside 
my open grave
making me think
I should rise
open my eyes
take a second look
maybe what I see
will make me
cautiously blink
maybe what
I know now
will take me 
somewhere down
another rocky road
a road that leads
sends me
something free
amending please
mend my broken life
needfully gift me
a more repentant
less shattered end

           * * * 

 

volcanic life
internal heat
infernal strife
inner movement
something fissured
fractured times
molten drifting
sudden options
violent shifts
impromptu eruptions
roiling mud
toxic corruption
burning tears
boiling mad
fiery obstruction
simply everything
we fear
modern scenes
political carnage
volcanic life
real treason
poisonous reasoning
volcanic strife
what if
we lived
a glacial life
iceberg derived
perpetual snow
Neanderthal desire
snug cave
glowing fire
reciting stories
old man winter
daily rapture
exciting glory
an arctic blow
what if
untamed jungle
encompassed my soul
marching columns
hidden vipers
flaming fire ants
creeping into crawly
destructive armies
nothing timid
sweltering humid
a jungle dance
what if
endless desert
is all we know
extreme dry
freezing cold
sometimes both
befitting sighs
desert mold
trying existence
nomad fold
still that
bold volcanic life
fissured moments
dreamy at times
pleasurable eruptions
treasured cream
yet still
so we are told
gruesome politico
fiery thrills 
volcanic life
fearsome it seems
measuring plastic pills
pyroclastic cure
radioactive gamma
entombed by lava
life consumed
breathing toxic steam
this volcanic life
corrupting our dreams

          * * * 

 

deep chill
having left desert
finally released
all my camels
freed my horses
sold all my goats
all that dry
drifting singing sand
those desert dunes
shifting through
my weathered hands
I left leather John there
baptizing himself
needled in his dugout
somehow still headless
imbibing Jordan River
from that bug out
I've been revising
that moody tone
into hungry jungle
Jaguars are there
black stealth panthers
stinging army ants
so many years
I was clambering
climbing thorny vines
ascending camphored trees
conversing with top monkeys
converting squawking parrots
somehow I survived
even when those
slithering giant anaconda
wrapped me up 
squeezed withered me
so I was trapped
my screams delighting
inviting gnarly
Baba Yaga
she took me
my gnarled hand
leading subversive me
traversing down another
irreversible jungle river
welcome to another
viral chopping block
now I lay me
down for keeps
pray that God
will help me
finally welcome sleep
should I die
before I wake
should clever John
baptize me again
submerge me forever
within that
river of swords
John would speak
giver of words
vocalizing jungle springs
release sacred churning
navigate inoculizing rapids
beyond that acrid
mocking desert
formidable burning fear
damnably certain
desiccation takes over
even that Jordan River
suffering abdication
ever more and more
while every yearning
dedication spake forever
somehow schooled piranhas
truly missing me
unplanned as ever
blissful foolish me
inoculated me
floating free
towards another 
inoculating ocean
John waved
floating free
out in space
John's newest realm
unlike mindless
tangled jungle
or endless desert
Mother's space
a sacred helm
that other place
we should be in
now that is deep
some sacred chill
so now we
this human race
should finally keep
where forever John is
clearly in our hearts
fearless in this space
this virally steep
deep sacred chill

         * * * 

 

I don't want to
turn back time
why would I
go back years
when all that
hardship delivered strife
all those times
time left us
with a broken back
trials versus fears
promises and pledges
those nightmare razors
juggling knives
try balancing
time's arduous edge
commute my sentence
let me live
even struggling
here as now
my acceptance
is a crime
my repentance
against hurried time
so don't turn back
your raging clock
don't fall through
time's crazy crack
don't leave me
visualize this moment
frack me open
sorry time intact
timing seconds
minutes into hours
past into future
fantasy's futuristic dreams
time endlessly devours
no matter where
we are at
no matter 
how we are
just don't try
turning back time
don't despair
as you cry
studying each hour's
daring hand
there be something
quite poetic
about sublime time
all those
songs and poems
past and present
time demands
understand this
time alone
is not a key
to who we are
to how we'll be
it's funny though
how we need to dance
music's special time
it's funny too
how we sleep
dream making love
forgetting time
perhaps sleeps a case
not begetting
timely chance
not regretting
time's fretful
momentary romance
imagine getting
dutiful time
turning itself back
some past rhyme
that last battlefield
some other past crime
somehow counting seconds
landing there
just another
awkward stance
just another
timely chance

         * * * 

nothing stays
remains the same
not air
not water
even light
nothing stays
existing the same
not love
not joy
even compassion
nothing stays
the very same
even bloody greed
even storied hate
coldly not war
nothing stays
exactly the same
not poetry
not song
even dance
those romance games
nothing is static
everything is erratic
even boldly fanatic
exceeding odd
even universe
even creation
even freedom
even God

       * * *