Geology of Existence

All those things that never leave us
All those tragedies we'll never leave behind
All those memories that dog us til the end of time
All those things in life that have been so unkind
I wonder if we'll ever wake
To find God has touched us
Promising that once we die
Our embittered Soul
God will truly take.

All those sticky webs spiders spin in my head
Catching sorry thoughts and forgotten dreams
All those tragic moments we can't forget
Gripping us and ripping us up in  that stead
On stormy nights ignite our tinder minds with terrible flames
How our tender hearts burn to ash or so it seems
How our broken lives never mend from those cruel games
Still we become the walking dead
Wake each day to wonder who we truly are
Stalked by ghosts that we try to lock away
Cage them in a dark forgotten room in our heads
But somehow those fearsome spectres always find a way out
Even though we scream and shout with terror in our eyes
Realizing hordes of buzzing blue bottle flies
Reality dictates all that angst is never gone
Often hidden with a deceptive disguise.

All those ghosts and spectres that go uncaged
And in their rampaging rage
Tear more bloody strips off of us
Picking and molesting our bleeding wounds and scars
Tearing away every bandage we've sorely tried to attach
Trying to heal and patch those ample things
That nightmares and battles have in their rage
Grossly marked and marred us
Barred us from any peaceful place
All that unrest has constantly tested us
Refusing to stay arrested
Detested by their unmarked graves
Laying low until some muss and fuss
Once again invades our screaming soul
Like some chortling pirate and ghastly ghoul
Creeping in day and night
Beyond every boundary and shore
Taking us prisoner time and time again
Caging us in some horrific place
Where we'll never ever escape
Where we hoped in time we might redeem ourselves  
All our timeless hopes and dreams
Are tossed and broken from hopeless shelves
To the tangibly brutal floor
Where even God can't rescue us
Or piece us together anymore.

All this pain we suffer
All this angst we share
It makes me truly wonder
If God ever truly cared
It makes me wonder with such great sadness
If God is truly there.

What beauty is left when we're torn apart
Is there any bit of love left in any tiny cleft
When our hopes and dreams are smashed apart
What truly matters when life is bitter
So very hard from the very start
Does love have a leg to stand on
When lives are ripped apart and blown away
Or does the devil stand laughing when vultures circle
When packs of hungry wolves stand together and bay
If only the sea would one day calm
If only we could truly heal with some blessed salve and balm
If only we could stand as sisters and brothers
Perhaps then we might find some sacred way
Restoring our Souls and mending our ailing planet
God help us
God help us
In my constant grief and heartfelt tears
I close my eyes and ears
Trying not to see or hear
All those tortured Souls that live in constant fear
So I pray and pray
That perhaps God will one day save us
Perhaps peace and harmony might come and finally stay.

It seems we're on a sinking ship
As we fail and fail
As we stumble and trip
Those raging beasts that stalk us day and night
All those storms and maelstroms that give us fright
All this worldly carnage
That leaves us confused and blind
Making us go crazy
Go out of our blasted minds
It seems there is no redemption
No true love or peace in sight
All the birds have gone
There is sorry silence
No more happy songs
No real love or peace in sight.

Once there stood a Holy singing forest
Now nothing but a razed battlefield
Once a sacred garden grew
Now a ghastly graveyard
Surrounded by a pauper's field
Once a sea of plenty
Now the oceans are sorely empty
Once a blessed dream of man
Now an artificial plastic world
Full of toxic waste and no good plan
A world of radio-active strife
A world full of terrible mess
Like an over flowing stinking garbage can
With less and less blessed natural life.

One deer
She saw me working in my yard
Two deer
Her sonny fawn following
A sunny October afternoon they sensed my calling
Three deer
Her little girl fawn stepping through that silent swell
Through tall stems of wild grass
Into the orchard where apples fell
Under a spectral glow with its autumn yawn
Across the still green carpet that is the orchard lawn
Fourth deer
Elegant head and ears raised tall
Those bright deer eyes so alert
Sun shone as gold and yellow leaves fall
Fifth deer
Stepping lively without much fear
Across that still meadow
They all must have been laying fairly near
Something provoking them
Standing for a moment in their warm grassy beds
Something invoking them to be brave and take a chance
Approaching me as I stood there
Reading their deer minds I quickly knew
An apple or two plus another few
I spoke soft words as first deer came near
Telling her and her two fawns I'd be right back
Across the wet grass I strode
From a cardboard box in the cool back room of my little cabin
Grabbing a handful of recently gathered Russet apples
Back I went along my narrow path
Not far from the shady village road
Knowing my deer friends would still be there
Waiting for these juicy morsels
Patience waiting for my trusted fare
More soft words spoken
I quietly tossed them my little token
Five deer standing in my pleasant yard
Five tawny friends that come to me
Fearless trust yet still on guard
Such brave and gentle ones
Their big bright eyes all watching me
Those gentle deer with their unmatched beauty
Attached to sweet apples they most certainly see
So I watch as they crunch that rich fruit
Munching munching as I quietly stand
Admiring my uncommon friends with my open hand
This common scene I entertain with genuine glee
They freely finish that fruit from the generous Russet tree
Prancing away with their bright white flags held in place
Still I stand and watch with a smile on my old gray face
As they trustingly turn and wander alas
Away away into that wild field of tall autumn grass

Haiku Wednesday 


So much poetry

Distilled letters and words

Sunsets and moondrops

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Day and night on earth

Our sun is revolving

Evolving like us

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All your loftiness

Remarkable dignity

Letting go for good

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When the house burns down

When the storm fails to subside

All those tears we cry

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 Honesty and truth

Where do we find the answers?

Dreams our Soul tells us

Another Dream and How It Always Goes

It's odd how things go,
Love is one of those odd things,
I'll never have or truly know,
I was wondering when you'd show up again,
It's strange how life and love goes,
Suddenly you're so very near,
Come from so very far away,
I was wondering if you'd ever show up again,
If only in my varied dreams,
Then as I feared you've gone again,
So it always goes it seems,
You never come to truly stay,
I was wondering if you'd ever show up here again,
You must know you still wound my fragile heart,
It's strange how life and love always goes,
Even though all these years we've been far apart,
Love is one of those things I'll never truly know,
So many heart felt things I'd like to say,
I was wondering if you'd ever show up again,
But you never come to really stay,
Then unexpectedly you appear in my dreams,
In my heart I've always hoped you'd come to stay,
Then just as quickly as you appeared,
You turn again it always seems,
And suddenly you've gone away.

One last wretched crouching tiger
Hidden by a field of fetching grass so tall
All that vetch and rice in China which has relevantly spoiled
All those drunk and dying birds that stagger and infinitely fall
All that lean Amazon beef gleaned from jungle that greedy men have soiled
All that boiled ocean fish so enriched with canned mercury
All those poisoned streams and crammed with plastic rivers
All those blind politicians and egocentric preachers steeped by perjury
All those stitched-up elk and moose with corrupted livers
All those eco-remnants the world weeps for with this fatal injury
All those bleak and testy sunsets so strange they make us shiver
That one lone wild rhino so meek and quivering
Every blatant night I watch the bitter moon cringe and cry
We can't educate the failing sea when it refuses to atone
Every blinking star might similarly choose to disappear
Shrinking nature lastly delivered by some shrieking memory alone
Every engaging day shall go blind with stinking rage and fear
Every flirt and irksome prayer will surely go unheard
As the world shirks and turns to darkness by and by
No matter how petrified we seem or what we finally try.

Haiku Saturday


Steamy rhetoric

Politics is a grudge match

Voting for our choice

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Awake or asleep
 
Bliss and pain in that same vein

True love or true hate

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I rip out each page

I burn ev'ry syllable

My mind wants relief

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 This raging ocean

Sticks and stones will break us

We all bleed the same

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Stewie's Haiku

Mum mum mum mum mum 

Mummy mummy mummy mum

Mummy mummy mum

My mother keeps telling me,
I've lived a hard life,
All those years alone,
Years living in my teepee,
Living alone in squats and shacks,
All those lonely winters roaming in the bush,
So many long lonely winters,
All those cold nights in cabins,
Dreaming about some one,
Day dreams of foreign women,
Girls that never paid me any attention,
Attractive women that I yearned for,
All those lovely gals that couldn't have cared less,
All those frigid starry nights,
Sucking up welcome heat from my crackling woodstove,
My dogs my only companions,
My mother has told me I've lived a hard life,
All my fears and overwhelming tears,
Burying my dead dogs,
Burying my living emotions,
Burying my broken dreams,
Next to my broken heart,
So many graves and prayers,
My mother tells me I've lived a hard life,
So many lonely years in the wilderness,
So many long trails leading me to some other lonely place,
All my lonely memories,
All my terrible fears and rampant streams of lonely tears,
My mother knows I've lived a lonely life,
All those days and nights alone,
Sick at times with fever and hunger and yearning,
Days without a copper penny or a wooden nickel in my pocket,
Nights when a million dollars and a bottle of whiskey couldn't have bought me happiness,
My old mother sees me from a distance,
My loneliness exacerbated for being far apart,
Hidden away from a world of friends and human companionship,
I've seen those brilliant Northern Lights,
So bright they lit up the snowy ground,
I've witnessed the autumn moon wax and wane,
Blamelessly crossing the lonesome sky,
I've heard the midnight owl call my name,
I've seen great bears popping their big teeth,
Growling importantly while I held my ground,
I've had stealthy mountain lions stalk me,
Snarling at me from several yards away,
While I held my spartan breath,
I've had tart women shun my starts and advances,
While I held my heart in my parted hands,
I've experienced testy freezing wind,
Winter arresting me at 69 degrees below zero,
My old mother sighs thinking about my lonesome life,
I'm reminded of a trio of little mice mincing away,
Nibbling raw oats from a scintillating dish,
Once placed beside my bed so I might watch them eat,
Winkin Blinkin and Nod nestled side by side,
Chewing contentedly away,
Shadows dancing on the sleek teepee liner,
A flickering flame contained under the globe of my bleak kerosene lamp,
I've had my whitetail deer friends come and camp,
Tramping without brakes to take wilted apples from my open hand,
I've heard slate tree frogs croaking their little songs,
A fate chorus on a window sill of my one room cabin,
I've hearkened to generations of rascally Red squirrels,
Chattering away just outside my cabin door,
I've marveled at those Black and Cinnamon bears,
Coming to rummage and rumble around my cabin porch,
I've observed myriads of shooting stars,
Streaking helpless across a clear night sky,
I've loaded my rifle when it seemed danger was near,
I've traveled on my own,
Tens of thousands of miles without fear,
Roaming back and forth,
Crossing Earth's zonal equator,
Forth and back again,
Roaming across vast foaming oceans,
Searching for companionship,
Searching for love,
Searching for some thing,
Yet I haven't found,
All that glorious lost gold,
All those notorious lost dreams,
All those sorry lost years,
On my storied own,
All irrelevantly alone,
Still conveniently alone,
My mother tells me I've lived a hard and lonely life.

What colour are my scratched out words?
How much does each white detached syllable weigh?
What mix of black, white, brown and yellow does spectrum afford?
So many summer thoughts and winter emotions I equally wish to convey,
Does every spring rainbow have a segregated ribbon of quality light attached?
If autumn poetry were quintessential food what would each defining colour say?
I wonder if coloured words should be qualified or matched?
If human language finally turns purple and orange on every page,
If quaint nature finally steals away every natural and sacred patch,
Will coloured words want to make war on nature's changing stage?
If we wake speaking in tongues what colour would humans freely attach?
Black and white letters familiarly connected in black and white mete,
Such a linguistic spectrum quaveringly discordant and quiveringly ratcheted,
Queer words hatcheting truth and smothering lies in grey concrete,
Quid quo pro preaching colourless dialect and bland foreign accents,
Bleached out words spoken on quiescent corners of every mnemnomic street.

Haiku Wednesday

Active volcano
Sending smoke signals sky high
Sakurajima

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You have failed us
You so called leaders of the world
Your greed and horrors

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Guru or Swami
If Jesus would have grown up
He would have laughed more

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Who will be drumming?
When Zealandia rises
Who will make fire?

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Go gently my friend
Into death's dream where we wake
Enlightened and free