I don't see
tree frogs
anymore
hardly any
juncos
ever arrive
here
I wonder
what
I'm waiting
for
I still
search
for you
somehow
I don't know
why
because you
are gone
all those
beautiful
dreams
we had
seemed
they were
part
of the here
and now
it seemed
those dreams
made us
happy
as well
as glad
I can't help
but wonder
where it all
went wrong
I hoped
that all
the good
would simply
flourish
and grow
like a wondrous
garden
way out
yonder
now I
understand
that I
was wrong
somehow
all those
boundaries
standing
in my
way
still
when I
wake up
I can't
help
but ponder
if my
heart
stopped beating
and I
stopped breathing
where
would I
wander to
today
maybe
that fall
I took
stepping over
that steep
ledge
into that
vast abyss
perhaps that
was a forbidden
edge
I just
couldn't see
still the sun
comes up
but I
have
a hard time
rising
my body
feels
rigid
and cold
my brain
strains
to function
as I lie there
maybe now
I'm just
getting
too old
now that
the birds
and frogs
have disappeared
maybe
they took
all the love
in the world
along
with them
that narrow
road
I wander
down
I wonder
if
I just
left this path
came
to the edge
of some other
high cliff
stepped off
this other
ledge
I wonder
if I
would plummet
and fall
or would
I
soar
and fly
I still
remember
those astonishing
times
when we
were kissing
those special
sublime moments
when I
looked
deep into
your eyes
I thought
I saw
love
living there
I could
feel
your beating
heart
when I
held you
close
I sensed
your essence
even when
we were
far apart
still
I'm alone
I wonder
where
you've
gone
if the moon
fell
from the sky
it wouldn't
surprise
me
if the stars
no longer
shined
it wouldn't
amaze me
I know
I'm crazy
I know
I exist
in some
vacant dream
I know
you
are gone
existing
in some
other place
I wonder
why
this human
race
resists love
and joy
you'd think
that would
be the plan
for every girl
and boy
but in
the end
happiness
sends us
into
a tail spin
a cyclone
of emotion
where most
of us
have been
I tried
to write
another poem
about love
and bliss
about true
happiness
but somehow
I ended
up
crying again
and writing
this
as time
goes by
I wonder
about
the origin
of love
is love
only found
deep
within us
or is
love
something
originating
from somewhere
an unfathomable
place
from far
above
perhaps
from God
somewhere
in cosmic
space
I guess
that love
I felt
went
to live
in some
other distant
place
I guess
that happiness
followed
love
close
behind
now love
and happiness
is
something
I
just can't
find

      * * *

 

I gather up
the strewn garbage
in my ragged life
fervently toss it
in the baggage bin
I gather up
the errant love
I once had
pitifully throw it
because I'm sorry and I'm tired
in the flames and fire
I gather up
sweet memories
of those special places
try to lockup every single trace
of where I've gone and been
I gather up
my thoughts and feelings
stack them from the floor to ceiling
through all the thick and thin
I gather up
every day and night
along with every wrong
as well as every poem and song
and every thing I thought was right
I gather up
and bury time
formally imploring life
and all those things
that normally would be fine
to simply let me be
since there are no flowers
I can ever find
midst all this heartache
that I feel and see

           * * *

 

this wretched skin
it holds me in
I'm imprisoned
something in my head
keeps telling me
I must break out
something in my mind
keeps reminding me
I must hold it all in
all these clustered thoughts
mustering space
driving me closer
to the viral edge
one spiral day
every moral word
I think
some night
those dreaming streams
where I kneel
bow down to drink
suddenly the earth
beneath my feet
virtually opens up
a vast gap
lastly drags me down
deep into some profound pit
my crazed mind
sarcastically omits
that searing fiery part
right from the start
I know it's all true
this earth is green
above us
the sky is blue
my soul is burning
my heart is yearning
right from the start
I know it's you
I'm searching for an answer
wondering where bliss lives
I've climbed Rapunzel's bower
wanting to uncage that song bird she keeps
once I'd climbed that tower
I was captured by Rapunzel's mirror
as I stood still and stared
my reflection troubled me
I stood there
fully feathered and aware
plumed by rays of venerable light
breathing in both day and night
swallowing all that veneration
in that adoring moment
I gathered up every part of me
envisioning my life retrospectively
if a sacred dream visits me
telling me I must not weep
patiently reminding me
eventually my scattered mind
will grasp my tattered soul
once again I'll become whole
reach fraternal eternity
where I'll consciously rest
and blissfully sleep

                * * *

 

one day
you wake up
everything
is unrecognizable
nothing
ever again
is the same
that pathetic bear
those pacing lions
troubled gorilla
still on those
cement pads
caged behind
those forbidding
black iron bars
all the captive birds
imprisoned monkeys too
every single one
lying dead
what was
that cruel zoo
relics and remnants
out in the fueled street
unruly shooting
bloated bodies
friends and neighbours
those you never knew
rotting corpses
shattered trees
once majestically grew
along every busy avenue
now ranks of troops
groups of roaring tanks
rumbling down
every belching street
blasting holes
killing snipers
holed up
in burning suites
utter destruction
total war
enemy standouts
smoldering pockets
destroying holdouts
inglorious combat
blowing up
every lasting residence
untold fatal resistance
your great leaders
have poisoned
their children
murdered their wives
shot themselves
in their crippled heads
mustered soldiers
wearing clustered uniforms
you once saluted
everyone demoralized
crying and freezing
marching innocents
in the winter cold
starving hordes
millions upon millions
slogging to their
untimely death
the magnificent fuhrer
tells his commander
I'll shoot myself
in the head
stodgily remarking
victory is lost
then you know
what to do
national commitment
this irrational war  
hail to their bloody flag
tragedy at any cost
this human study
what would
Mohammad
and Jesus
think or do
is war the answer
supporting regimes
that wretched stink
what would
majestic God
consummately say
about this
penultimate
inhuman fray
this ultimate
roustabout calamity
everything
paramount
day has gone
night has come
everyone
deranged
world leaders
still so vain
thinking
bombs and bullets
making war
complete destruction
disastrously wishing
upon some infernal star
suspect planning
behind locked doors
crouched deep inside
their protective bunkers
extroverted dreaming
counting on fortune and fame
grim political power
such a dark unrelenting game
babble from those golden towers
days of crazed madness
weeks of lies and distorted glower
all for feeble fascist gain
months of misguided instruction
years of conviction
that is insane


            * * *

 

all life is suffering
this variant life
resistant to buffering
each new day
give your life a word
when we pray
each word adds a plea
hoping for joy
hoping to be free
affliction as a critical storm
creating resistance
in a critical form
so those promises we seek
how many do we ever keep
were kept promises
ever the norm
those screams I hear
are they screams of anger
or screams of absolute fear
all that wailing in the distance
is someone weeping
for their dead
or has madness
shaken everyone senseless
even animals and birds
try resisting this revolution
I hear the trees cry out
hoping for peaceful resolution
when all the sweet singers
and dearest poets
have lost their voices
when death has come
hauling those defeated
away to scurrilous hell
when surely everyone  
has become insane
all the healthy taken ill
will any sacred bells
even those ones hanging
in ruined central square
ring in another new year
or with their dulcet tones
bring news of further heartache
will anyone be standing there
will anyone be here to witness
all the tragic horrid news
just another mortal view
of all that once was
of what we once thought
was nothing but good
something we had hoped
wishing our once valiant dreams
were not somehow misconstrued
but had been forever honest
and sincerely true

                * * *

 

I hear those war drums beating
what good can ever come of war
all those violent nothings
battles of heartless dirty cheating
burn your useless flags
close every vicious door
bury your murderous guns
scuttle your destructive war ships
teach your sons and daughters
that words of sacredness and peace
should always fill their hearts
always cross their lips
compassion should fulfill their souls
tear the wings off your war planes
talk of love instead of demonic ghouls
dismantle your soulless drones
knock down your dividing walls
don't listen to corrupt old men
or their greedy lustful crones
clear hate from the wasteful world
recant your bloody war whoops
silence your battle calls
there is no good glory
in intolerant cruel war
there is nothing but sorry
when it comes to bombs and gore
what dreams made you want to war
it seems insanity has gripped humanity
maybe we are ultimately lost
doomed to virtual extinction
what a terrible tragic cost
for all our twisted badges of distinction
for all our distinctive inhumanity
instinctive sanity has failed and lost
this war lust bound by irrational solution
nothing but greed for power at any cost

                           * * *

 

here I am
digging this damn hole
while my other self
keeps trying
to fill it in
thinking I'll reshape myself
replenishment to whole
this dual existence
we all live
one side pushing
the other side pulling
one side digging
the other side filling
what seems smooth singularity
is defined by this creased duality
one part snake
the other rat
what relationship does this make
who devours who
what sort of life is this
moon shine sometimes
at times enlightens us
there is a dark side
to the moon as well
leaving us in the dark
most often wondering where
the proffered light has gone
how do we carry on
when your heart breaks
can the other you fix it
when you feel so lost
can that other one find you
when one of us is asleep
and the other awake
perhaps there are answers
offered in our dreams
or somewhere off
just down some refining street
what about lies we tell
does truth override
those mistaken spells
if one day
both of us fall
into that hole I dig
who will rearrange our bones
will God recharge our buried soul
what if we change sides
the one that was pulling
starts pushing
the one that was pushing
starts pulling
could we ever atone
what about night
and what about day
is one more wrong
is one more right
is one more real
is one more fake
or is this enhanced dual life
the convoluted chance
we all must take

           * * *

 

walk write pray
those three words
something I try
to live by
everyday
walk write pray
but some days
I can't put one foot
in front of the other
walk write pray
and some days
I am lazy
I can't find the energy
to click my ball point pen
walk write pray
sticking to this
some days
life's a denizen
walking
and writing
then
there's praying
for what
people may ask
a prayer for help
solemnly spoken
a prayer for health
desperately invoked
all those prayers
for peace
walking
and writing
and praying
ending
in amen
again and again
walk write pray

         * * * 

 

these punctures
piercings
through
my hands
my feet
that fresh blood
dripping
onto
the dismal
street
those hungry
demons
tearing
at my
flesh
my soul
leaving
me
in pieces
so
I am
no longer
wholly
in control
once
I am
razed
and incomplete
once
I hang there
finally
absolved
wrenched
and flensed
above that
sorry
bloodied street
when all
my
quenching blood
has dripped
and drained
that bloody
flood
of life
ripped
from my
being
all that's
left
is this
vacant shell
hanging
below that
cheerless hell
this suicide
you see
once
perched
upon
a living
tree
just
as we
once
existed
you
and me

  * * *

 

one note
one line
one verse
soon
there is a fire
burning in your soul
you may not know
where or how
it started
but those growing flames
consume you
burn you to the bone
leaving only ashes
nothing but a remnant
of what you were
all of you a relic
gone up in smoke
now what is left
mixing light and atmosphere
all you ever hear
attuned there is symphony
a star gone nova
as universe incepts you
here you are
divinity over mortality
relativity over affinity
existence and reality

            * * *

 

this sacred tree of life
how deep the vibrant roots
penetrating earth like a sacred knife
anchoring beating hearts and perfect being
sacrosanct such miraculous divinity
inviolably what our earthly souls are seeking
inevitably this nativity gathering all those holy bits
continuously we travel down this mortal road
following this well beaten ephemeral path
interminably keeping us  
from contemptuously falling apart
like liquid water we remain fluid
affinity with this human blood
this ancient tree of life sap remains
a supreme condition with this vital flood
coursing through our human veins

                    * * *

 

I searched for you
through cold hard winters
over long hot summers
I searched for you
under boulders and rocks
deep in the forest and in caves
I searched for you
far out at sea
deep under the ocean
I searched for you
below the earth and in the sky
but you had gone
disappeared somewhere
still I searched for you
in my blinding memories
wond'ring if you were lost
confined by distant stars
perhaps secretly dwelling
in my intimate dreams
but you had gone
someplace somewhere
somehow
all I ever found
some tiny bit of you
remained in my heart
where you once lived
fully and completely
having mended my shattered life
such a special passionate place
where you once breathed
where we once loved
then ominous darkness interfered
still I searched for you
throughout the unclear night
but like the fading morning stars
you forever disappeared

                 * * *

 

in my madness
I've discovered my insanity
wild animals
have ripped me apart
the sun
has incinerated my soul
deep oceans
have drowned all my dreams
there is no feeling
residing in my heart and mind
only persistent numbness
collectively thumbing
through each tomorrow
each time I wake
I see stars in heaven
silently falling to the ground
all the planets in the universe
madly circling Jupiter and Mars
when the emotional earth quakes
when volcanoes shiver and shake
lava fills my throat
so I can't speak words
only erupt with molten sounds
if ruptured God wakes
speaks to me in tongues
I'll overtly surrender
yield and bow down
embrace every earthly sorrow
acquiesce on bended knee
I'll look up to thee
knowing your saviour heart
brings demolition to the world
when things dissipate and fly apart
I'll watch every mountain fall
effectively every sound I make
will say it all
every vision my third eye sees
will summon predictable angels
accompanied by that sacred chorus
those prophetic winged creatures
will arrive asserting it all
speak alpha uttering omega
rearrange this planet's features
all that shall survive
accepting this errant madness
will be a sacred spring
that is the canonizing finial thing
corrective divinity will lastly bring

                       * * *

 

mostus

notice

potus

flotus

cotus

coitus

dotus

 

* * *

 

how far will it go
we've seen it
in so many places
throughout history
we know all
that fear and pain
plastered on grieving faces
who will come
in the stealth of night
in your wealth of dreams
who will execute you
what is truly right
what if unruly war
just wouldn't do
what happens
when enemy tanks
roll down your street
what happens
when machine gunners
strafe your home
when rocket launchers
blast holes in your life
does God lay peace
at your bleeding feet
does every enemy
needlessly burn and destroy
all that you own
do your friends and neighbours
need to suffer and die
why can't the world's water
run free and clean
did marauding soldiers
need to harangue then hang
dear sister and brother
and dear mother and father
so fatally high
will meditation or papal prayers
make everything better
or even seem
with all that evil lurking
in human hearts and minds
that God is real
or if God truly cares
all this madness
humans always seem to find
this world we live in
is so cruel and unfair
in my best dreams
I find love and light
in my finest dreams
I understood
all that is good
and all that is right
if this is God's play
then this comedy
and more tragedy
what comes and what may
not gallantry but pageantry
life is most often chaff
only occasionally flourishing
sweet nourishing hay

                * * *

 

if you care
to dream
you dare
to fall and fail
so many dreams
never come true
perhaps a few
so lucky you
if they do come true
but sleepless dreams
are ethereal wishes
tremendous gravity
from a stupendous star
if enchantment dares live there
it sometimes seems
certain cosmic wishes
reflect a twinkling star
like schools and inklings
of so many precious glimmering fishes
possibilities in the deep blue sea
moral wishes exhibited in that coral realm
an oceanic place where Neptune and Divinity
remain at the central multi-dimensional  helm
all those time travel stargate wishes
and intergalactic star trek dreams
driving warp factor fortunate you
steering atomic wishful me
everything we truly are
everything we want to be

                  * * *

 

 

perception
what is above
all that below
sensing
things out front
everything behind
substance
organic mass
spiritual fast
creating
surrounding substance
crowning stance
being
living organism
shifting awareness
fluid
adaptable water
envisioning soul
vibrating
orbiting atoms
connecting cosmos
honesty
exposing secrets
revealing lies
opting
dwelling in darkness
seeking pure light
point
inward self
outward ties
zen
consuming fire
spitting right

         * * *

 

sometimes
when all the trees and leaves
have died and fallen
eventually
when ice age winter
has come to stay
those long snowy days
being cold and endless
when the paper sun
can't give us warmth
and the cardboard moon
becomes unglued and distant
everything
seems frosty and frigid
frozen in hoary time
all that icicle love
all those glacial dreams
so many permafrost scenes
marking both bitter day and night
if Jupiter would scream
if Venus could simply speak
all that hard concrete
cementing over
our conglomerate lives
might erode away
revealing hidden doors
allowing us
to see the light
even mend
our broken lives and hearts
when we wake again
opening our encrusted eyes
alluvial reality sets in
that's when we discover
this world is a gravelly place
no matter how much we grovel
no matter how often
we fail and stumble
hopes and tears
can't fix us
it's only death
coming to whisk us away
when we finally realize
being born isn't always
a heavenly golden gift
even if we manage to cauterize
old festering wounds
try to staple a smile
on our material face
all that awaits this fabled planet
is some dark and foreboding
disabled space

              * * *

 

that war
you love
so much profit
every day you hide
shaking hands
confiding with the devil
everyday crossing many lands
making hordes of money
so much death and destruction
hand over clenched fist
as leery night falls
you pray for more delirious power
devouring evil readily calls
constantly cheering and jeering
as insistent day breaks
you execute innocence
cutting off heads
slitting throats
bombing public markets
history as it's truthfully told
killing unarmed civilians
slicing off women's breasts
carving up crying babies
watching their blood run cold


and still you say
you worship God
oddly smothered
in all your evil ways
nothing Godly
about you
all your lying words
nothing Holy
about you
all your destructive
hopes and dreams
nothing Sacred anymore
so you murder peace
hang morality alongside the outspoken
utterly defacing public roads and streets
destroying everything
defiling all that was good
but still you loudly say
God is on your side
all the while
satan holds your hand
hordes of winged demons
courtly surround you
laughing and grinning and smiling


on this rainy winter morning
watching a King tide rush in
bathed by a flood of ocean dreams
fathoms free of wrathful whim
I can't help but wonder
where the faithful Orca swim
intimate families hunting Tyee salmon
diving free to the bottom of the sea
ocean Beings marked by sacred bones
congregating near stony beaches
rubbing supple whale bodies
exploring outward reaches
singing spiritual whale songs
on the ancient forest shore
this soaking rain continues
moreover brother Raven appears
careening through the salted ocean air
I ponder where exalted Raven has been
I wonder on this rainy January morn
what glorious mythic lore
enlightened Raven streams
speaking intelligence in fair Raven tongue
witness to this violent changing world
I wonder if my two-legged species even cares

                             * * *

 

there's that crying time
when you're heart sick
when you're all alone
when you feel physically ick
when emotionally you can't atone
there's that joyless time
when night terrors foretell the future
your dreams once full of hope
don't exist anymore
deposing creatures of nurture
but for some egregious reason
dreams come that won't let us roam
as sadness creeps in
often we feel alone
weeping from mournful eyes
when broken hearts
just can't bleed anymore
until we can't think straight
as madness takes hold
when you're just sick and sore
such a trying time
there is no welcome shore
hope and love departs
it's pouring rain
day after day
it continues to storm
night after night
despair in fits and starts
so much sadness
existing deep inside you
all the ice cream in the world
can't make the day seem brighter
all the cake in heaven
won't allow the night to be any lighter
even with all this darkness
somehow we still seek love and joy
those paths we journey down
all that broken glass
strewn all around
shards of rage and rashness
degrees of varying sharpness
enveloping this shapeless class
all those segmented dreams
still dwelling deep inside
reminding every lonely boy and girl
all those colourful balloons
that once entranced us so
all those misbegotten blue moons
that's life for every solitary girl and boy
that's just how life seems to so often go
those abused and hopeless then
occupying the world has meant
broken volatile things that destroy
hearts and minds that were heaven sent
all that ringing in our unholy ears
remnants of resistant demons
persistently gnawing at tormented souls
scratching out happy memory too
losing those few precious things
misshaping reality over time
buffering balance
violently ripped and frayed
altering misshapen time itself
freedom from suffering
tragically stripped away

                * * *

 

here we are
founded in repetition
repeating minute by minute
repetition of hours and days
repeat repeat repeat
month after repetitive month
here we are
seeking redemption
year after year
wave after wave
short waves and long waves
pilgrimages of tuning
sound and sight
repeating revisions and sentences
vibration after vibration
phrases of tribulation
every vibratory celebration
encapsulated by repetition
vibrating like we do
every thing does
God's thoughtful vibration
reverberation repeating itself
repetition after repetition
ringing and pulsing
vigorous repentant energies
life energetically throbbing
a universe of receptive knowing
so here we are
repetitiously vibrating
vital radiant inception
resounding with each surge
outstanding with each repetitive swell
worshiping every undulating ripple
excited by every rigid vibrating nipple
mother of astounding waves
nourishing creative liquidity
water tapping and sounding
tipping into stippled water
vibrating profound oceans
ridden with crests and troughs
reactive iniquity tripled
astounding deep seas
undulating vibration
do you see
each arduous wave
you are surfing
are you sure
when you gregariously wake
do you speak
desegregating incantations
wishful vibrations
sometimes fruitful
sometimes bleak
when the sea stays calm
there is still
all that we feel
every underlying chill wave
something we crave
something that's real
 

               * * *