how harsh
will winter be
sowing ice and snow
harbouring growing hunger
what starvation knows
carving insipid nightmares
never just icicle tears
whatever will
fear and darkness bring
that summer smile
you mostly wear
so you don't seem
so fragile
agile and slippery
even sometimes
december blue
as glacial ice
you don't easily
frighten or scare
I have no blood
halloween thickening
my thin ghoul soup
truly summer's over
what a ghastly try
flaming drying fling
now it's mostly
falling leaves
thrown down
by unseen ghosts
blown around
crowning october fires
this other eerie thing
hurricane autumn
one more boastful
weary blue moon
toasting this
hurricane stew
til old man winter
once again
gaunt and undaunted
after all this
autumn haunting
hounds of hell
pounding on
my wanting door
winter with its
flaunted taunting
such cruel defiance
lack of sunny
even fractioned warmth
as I tactfully lay
my fool head down
to actually sleep
those frigid winter nights
frosting my rigid brow
such dark and cold
yet there may be
some stark respite
despite harsh blizzards
creating drifts
so very deep
while I think
abating rifts
try to connotate
dreams of spring
fresh leafy life
sprouting new hope
revealing lighter
brighter things
what winter said
with its hysteric
insistent drifts
occasional mystery chinooks
those historic sighs
like something
out of story books
if we should
simply bundle up
so we could cope
over long months
enduring frozen weeks
surely that downward slope
scoping out
winter's bitter dread
commanding wishful hope
sublimely arctic
demanding frost
dressed with resolute guise
addressing winter's steely
icy eyes
hibernal realized
muttering and pounding
at my shuttered door
frozen sounding
lonely days and nights
sometimes thin soup
mashed sardines
on dry toast
unabashedly placed
on crusted plates
featuring bread
eat and ate
bits of insect creatures
cupboard litter
on frittered cakes
void of garden salad
nearly naked matters
verily slathered
with madman oil
rather than sour vinegar
distilling old man winter
those chilly days
into gelid nights
heaped and mixed
beneath those
cosmic starry lights
feisty osmotic cold
boldly meeting
carnal winter dreams
such a gasping greeting
grasping snow laden hinterland
with hope's vernal stead
as raving winter tests
every aging lonely heart
it's hard to dream
sweet love as summer
while stern winter
seldom rests
at least that
is what
it always seems
for all those
isolated raging hearts
crazed shoveling
unfazed winter blowing
heaps of snow
into chosen mounds
beside stormy drifts
piled high
winter's frozen gift
residing outside
beguiled winter
it always seems
insulated and tried
inside those
hoar frost dreams

          * * *

 

looking back
I thought
I saw myself
just a young man
selfish thinking
life in a cloud
still standing still
outside a golden temple
just a plume of smoke
atop that sacred
rocky slope
some heady time
slick granite
way back
then readily
I dared
to even do
so wisdom
even can
retrieve those
leavened
uneven months
oddly in and out
of reverential years
sometimes talking backwards
even when I walked
trekking backwoods
yet somehow
forward
up steep
rugged hills
one single man
mushing
leaving dog tracks
exploring reckless
rapids through canyons
I was
water
I am
truly rushing
ascending ethereal
mountains
drinking
cosmic purity
let's say
salvation
from deep
cold wells
way back
when
merely that certain
religious spark
some vibrant source
but now then
of course endings
stricken by should
those should haves
life and things
seldom clear
those mystic dreams
some faith
rendering
feeling
like unknowable
I could be
being someone
existence sometimes
seems veiled
what age brings
ear ringing
reflection and echoes
towering resistance
insistence coming
wisely ever
forever nearer
grieving sometimes
even invective ends
looking back
recalling special
background songs
all those other
blessed things
even gleaming
diamonds and emeralds
shining wild rivers
shimmering idyllic streams
reveling and shivering
quickened by those
slick quick dreams
picking perfect
stones and rocks
respected geometric
ideologic crests
intermittently
treasured elements
sometimes clustered
fortunes of ruby rings
check out fortunate
those masters of wealth
if each watery end
each forged incarnation
were a healthy thing
would storied lies
could beastly stealth
ever be trusted
what about love
devotion's special songs
emotional prayers
desperation into poems
intimate mathematics
ultimately light years
of measured memories
what if we discover
there is no pleasure
contented life
in righteous cemeteries
only pious bones
under ancient stone
mostly cold
often forgotten
why should life
drone on and on
carry on
maybe
as eternal thought
notwithstanding
so misbegotten
infernal living
existential
crazy time
lazily balancing
on life
a razor edge
so don't
any time
remind me
my reformed mind
part time
informally at least
I'm still
what I see
peaceful wandering
pondering beginning
some treatise path
wandering warily
east
to somewhere
recovered from afar
beyond far
but verily
behind me
I'm rediscovering
seasonal endings
autumn calling
winter beckoning
reasonably reckoning
I might
in some way
rightly see
infinite beginnings
beyond finishing
cosmic endings
practice tantric
like a coiled snake
all those electric
new eclectic days
I'll reverently take
every blue moon
reach out
to each starry sky
greetings from Milarepa
reaching hope
meeting sunny rays
resolving night
involving time
lightning in between
sunrise after sunset
those revolving
insolvent dreams
even whipped cream
forever wild honey
always truthful lust
hopeful that  
every just journey
each sweet space
even partially recovered
reflecting that other
artful time
well spent
when measured
should be's
energy that is
always treasured
maybe even
love showed up
molding azure hearts
held by anxious
curious hands
maybe even
explicit parts
bold dreams
so ethereal
comes true
wouldn't life then
be divine
ultimately grand
all those
majestic beginnings
if those
pathetic endings
would be glorious
respecting us
everything and all
universal love
conversely reconnecting
verse and composition
delivered by one voice
with all life's mystery
free choice
never regretting
begetting eternal love
that universal goal
spiritually feeding
neverending
navigation
captivating
spirit need and spiritual deed
our wand'ring souls
I can't help
looking back
but see
enraptured you
and drowning me

            * * *

 

so welcome home
here's this grave
step down
or fall
into it
dead or alive
whatever calling
God chooses
either way
if we
remain standing
midst disdain
graveside arrangement
there's arraignment
maybe
your will
still upright
lowering me
into that grounding
knowing down
so profoundly deep
into restful
soulful mother earth
if we erupt
perhaps collide
somewhere
beyond this
sacred mother
outside her
incremental berth
maybe on
some
busy
numbered street
or some remote
unemcumbered
fetal track
maybe then
we'll find
we ably defy
tides and gravity
defining dying
such trying essence
refining life
designation
designed with divinity
existential light
all things rely
on purity
we can't deny
insight
so welcome home
if we should
get under
intrusive skin
faithfully crawl
beyond this human  
determinedly burrow
beneath this
grave we're in
clearly understand
our deepest selves
merely together
we should fly
integral measures
this integrated world
surely mother earth
could finally end
fall in on herself
collapse as one
fall into our sun
prolapse too
into that noble
deepest grave
land fully alive
opening
receptive eyes
with open arms
accepting soul
inception together
we couldn't
fail or fall
resign ourselves
conceptualize
another real life
exceptional charms
commending us
sending us
insightfully
to our stately home
wrapped up
in loving arms
adorned with prayer flags
aptly shrouded
by ingenious life
sacred rhythm
and cosmic rhymes
perhaps too
once we are angels
we still might fall
hence demons
forever answering
harsh demonic calls
such infernal pretense
firmly welded
onto abominable
gates of hell
but we are
just guinea pigs
trying to find
an honest way home
dryly discovering
we are liquid
ethereal vapour
evaporation after condensation
disappeared
but not forgotten
energy from sacred light
an invitation for recovery
what has been
misplacing things
seemingly lost
begotten energy
synergy of blessed day
out of synergistic
creative night
this majestic
soul essence
essential spirit
what seance seeks
celestial voice
elementals
celebrating
going home
one joyous choice
as masters speak
as souls rejoice
this graveside peak

            * * *

 

several things
these fingers
these hands
it's all about
movement
if nothing
ever moved
what static brings
wasps
without
legs and wings
or stingers
that legendary venom
ingrained fear
what about
reference to that
land and sea
or would all
understanding
simply disappear
without movement
vibration
is creation
proving thought
into reality
that doing relation
between being present
and being solvent
seeing through
these human eyes
believing
dexterity
fingers and hands
making things
one condition
conditional light
elemental movement
making things right

           * * *

 

oh fuck
this crippling
struggle
most of us
unluckily
are in
dodging bullets
ducking bombs
what tragic
muck
struggling upstream
this new world
refining hurricanes
wicked surges
danger referral  
crazy codes
insurgency
emergent
viral strains
it's stodgy
survival's urgent mode
what chew gets
being swallowed up
all those psalms
perhaps divine
all our prayers
even hallowed
leaving most of us
in wretched hell
praying for something
to make us rich
watching thee
pray for something
viewing thine
without a cruel catch
to make life easier
praying for something
we'll never get
burn up bits of paper
scraps of hopeful
samples scrawled
want and wanting  
those ample brands
overlapped by wishes
bounded by impossible
desperate
impassable walls
some seek to choose
esoteric golden temples
disparates bleakly choose
self-immolation
some must cruise
navigating trusted life
others just consume
incinerate
with hate and rage
stages of each
self-destructive
blast furnace
then there is love
raped and lying naked
struggling
strafed and bombarded
by hysteric hate
dissatisfied and convulsing
what ghoulish takes
heartlessly bleeding
broken foolish hearts
heedful minds are baked
sun bleached and ingressive
recessive beseeching
into depressive sulking
what if something
oh fuck
raging currents
concurrent
with this struggle
we're out of luck
so it seems
unfortunate
doom is skulking
what excellent
contextual dreams
we're leaving
so many bereaved
such deep sadness
where in hell
dwell love and gladness
should we
close our eyes
give up hope
life's sweet everything
should we
decide to embrace
despondent life
live with sadness
take one last breath
lay down and die
God only knows
divinity chastens
should we let this
hastened world go
one final release
exit this
discouraging place
next context
such reeling madness
so desperation grows
short of love
aborting happiness
this current generation
senses heaven weeping
our world is occupied
by senseless degeneration
by overwhelming sadness
yet no one
truly knows
where to run
or where to hide
what to do
we're raging
crazed
we're stuck
cornered
by all this
fucking struggle
all these new
existential
fucking AI dreams
all our relational
fucking nightmares
boiling and bubbling
seems like
double trouble
seems like
hardly anyone
really cares to dare
all those
rich and powerful
stuck and hiding
mucked up
opulent prisoners
surrounded
by artificial
their golden temples
resounding with contempt
soundly confined by
their messed up trouble
fucking despot bubbles
burst by enlightenment
truly something risky
something truly
heaven sent

          * * *