My mother keeps telling me,
I've lived a hard life,
All those years alone,
Years living in my teepee,
Living alone in squats and shacks,
All those lonely winters roaming in the bush,
So many long lonely winters,
All those cold nights in cabins,
Dreaming about some one,
Day dreams of foreign women,
Girls that never paid me any attention,
Attractive women that I yearned for,
All those lovely gals that couldn't have cared less,
All those frigid starry nights,
Sucking up welcome heat from my crackling woodstove,
My dogs my only companions,
My mother has told me I've lived a hard life,
All my fears and overwhelming tears,
Burying my dead dogs,
Burying my living emotions,
Burying my broken dreams,
Next to my broken heart,
So many graves and prayers,
My mother tells me I've lived a hard life,
So many lonely years in the wilderness,
So many long trails leading me to some other lonely place,
All my lonely memories,
All my terrible fears and rampant streams of lonely tears,
My mother knows I've lived a lonely life,
All those days and nights alone,
Sick at times with fever and hunger and yearning,
Days without a copper penny or a wooden nickel in my pocket,
Nights when a million dollars and a bottle of whiskey couldn't have bought me happiness,
My old mother sees me from a distance,
My loneliness exacerbated for being far apart,
Hidden away from a world of friends and human companionship,
I've seen those brilliant Northern Lights,
So bright they lit up the snowy ground,
I've witnessed the autumn moon wax and wane,
Blamelessly crossing the lonesome sky,
I've heard the midnight owl call my name,
I've seen great bears popping their big teeth,
Growling importantly while I held my ground,
I've had stealthy mountain lions stalk me,
Snarling at me from several yards away,
While I held my spartan breath,
I've had tart women shun my starts and advances,
While I held my heart in my parted hands,
I've experienced testy freezing wind,
Winter arresting me at 69 degrees below zero,
My old mother sighs thinking about my lonesome life,
I'm reminded of a trio of little mice mincing away,
Nibbling raw oats from a scintillating dish,
Once placed beside my bed so I might watch them eat,
Winkin Blinkin and Nod nestled side by side,
Chewing contentedly away,
Shadows dancing on the sleek teepee liner,
A flickering flame contained under the globe of my bleak kerosene lamp,
I've had my whitetail deer friends come and camp,
Tramping without brakes to take wilted apples from my open hand,
I've heard slate tree frogs croaking their little songs,
A fate chorus on a window sill of my one room cabin,
I've hearkened to generations of rascally Red squirrels,
Chattering away just outside my cabin door,
I've marveled at those Black and Cinnamon bears,
Coming to rummage and rumble around my cabin porch,
I've observed myriads of shooting stars,
Streaking helpless across a clear night sky,
I've loaded my rifle when it seemed danger was near,
I've traveled on my own,
Tens of thousands of miles without fear,
Roaming back and forth,
Crossing Earth's zonal equator,
Forth and back again,
Roaming across vast foaming oceans,
Searching for companionship,
Searching for love,
Searching for some thing,
Yet I haven't found,
All that glorious lost gold,
All those notorious lost dreams,
All those sorry lost years,
On my storied own,
All irrelevantly alone,
Still conveniently alone,
My mother tells me I've lived a hard and lonely life.