I'll qualify the following poem by saying I wrote it several years ago, when the world was a different place.

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poetry you recite to me
leaves me bleeding
all those piercing words
you threw at me
leave me gutted
lost in another dream today
you left me bleeding
something died
inside today
treading deep water
you let me drown
dreading what lies
beneath the deep cold sea
love is flooding
the tidal me again
though your heart
was never mine
you speak
of your love
words don't really
mean a thing
how you pine
for other younger men
but then you
are gone
I feel so alone
alone feels so wrong
I just can't imagine
clearly anymore
I'm witnessing
everything monotone
I'm hovering here
above your barren floor
watching the daring world
reduce to ash

open yet another door
I want you
see me like I am home
I wish you
could give me
your heart
when I hear
your voice
I know
how deep I am
in this
you never cease
surprise me
yet I
question everything
I don't know
if you love me
I don't know
anything
anymore
then I hear
your velvet voice
you say some
velvet things
suddenly I feel
I am important
to  that silky you
I talk with you
intimate satin hours
everyday
but then
you
you're not really here
strange dreams
secret fears
half of me drowning
part of me
wearing a crown
half of dope me flying
such is me trying
part of me
wearing a rope
reckless with a noose tie

when I'm drowning
I see you
you're feeling something
all my reeling tears
streaming rivers
torrents washing
my grieving face
cold streams
filling bitter rivers
icy slivers swept
luring a hypothermic me
hyperbole into an anxious
glacial melt sea

I wish my arms
could reach you
but my words
don't ever touch you
I know you have taken
that flirting train
to somewhere
or nowhere
but not with me
I know that now
you're actually
not that interesting
you're rather
boring in reality
I certainly
can't love you
so don't think
you are anything
to me
I just like
to speak and talk
with friendly people
so friends like you
are nothing
more than some
distant voice
words meaning nothing
all your nothing poems
all your nothing kisses
you can't love me
I know that now
worthy comes to mind
I'm not that
realizing bitter me
your whole life
is a mistake
taken a wrong turn
from the beginning
now it's just
a long and winding road
free wheeling
around tight treacherous curves
and those mismanaged words
telling us
love is far behind us
and we'll never meet up
that is the force of nature
the nature of forceful love
abhorrent floods
landslides are yet to come
drowning will still become us
we can't overcome
or talk again

speaking to the phone
you seem so close
I can hear you breathe
I love you more
than anything
you've wounded me
deeply
your shallow words
I'm bleeding
as we speak
but you can't see
these fatal wounds
often I'm so lost
in this jungle between us
how can good
God punish us
with so much love
oh how I wish
you would love me
the way I love you
I feel all twisted up inside
wondering how you feel
I wonder if you think of me
you're on my mind
like the turning of the tide
why does love
hurt so much
why are we
such tempestuous fools
distrust and dishonesty
brave and courageous
what once was trust and honesty

trust and honesty
longing for you
day after day
knowing you
have another lover
so I quietly bleed
in this emptiness I feel
maybe I've misread
misheard everything
perhaps
I don't know anything
about anything
anymore
I wait in silence
wond'ring
if you've been swallowed
by some great blue whale
no song or echo
breaks the din
I wonder
what mind set
you're in
I wonder
why love
is so seldom kind
I feel you
growing more distant
I sense you
putting me out
of your vagrant mind

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