when you
find yourself
tired and old
when you
just want to
lay down to cry
when you wonder
thinking you ponder
just how and when
you're going to die
when you wonder
if your life's dreams
had any substance
or were they all
just stupid lies
when you ponder
your miserable existence
when you think about
just how and why
perhaps when tempting morning
turns to empty night
maybe the torrid moon
all those moral stars
will tell their sombre tales
about your small successes
stories about your many
god awful fails
why must we end up
frothing at the mouth
sick and all alone
knowing all our friends are dead
along with so many others
loved ones lost and forever gone
I sit and think
I might one day
soon go down
to the cleansing river
watch water flow
imagine magic time
is not forever
when I crazily climbed
tall wild mountains
there were all those dazed times
when I foraged and searched
for life giving fountains and sacred springs
upwellings protected
by gnomes and elves
wanting gold and enchanted rings
I for one reason
didn't realize that getting old
would make me feel
this cruel world
is so truly blind and cold
so when a beggar comes
to steal my wretched soul
when all my dreams
are destructive storms
about other horrid things
I've been taught and told
when I wake in the dark
all alone and crying
hoping this last path I walk
I'll realize my life was something
destiny truly desired
while God held my hand
I was desperately trying
now when the expected end
seems so very near
while I lay here sighing
all those things
I thought were true
lurk in obscure shadows
where love and restitution
remain so unclear
so I see myself
as proud wind blows
reckless old age rends
accompanies myself
there is the feckless end
when to where
only speckless God
truly sees and knows

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